Todd Butler - Canadian Idle

Conrad Black

Conrad Black has really flipped his lid
Posing in that silly hat, Barbra in that wig
He's worse than Robert Milton, smug as can be
Laughing at these claims of some "corporate kleptocracy"

He's been relaxing in his lawn chair, Barbara at his feet
Playing Mr. Dressup with the nouveau riche elite
His hero is Napoleon, mine is Captain Kirk
That's why Conrad's going down, and I don't get much acting work

He used to be Canadian now he's an English Lord
We still live in Canada, it's all we can afford

Conrad Black, so much smarter than me
Conrad Black bought himself a pedigree
Conrad Black, he ain't never comin' back
I'd rather be a poor Canadian than Conrad Black

Call it creative accounting, call it cooking the books
Call it common business practices until somebody looks
Call it a "culture of ethical corruption", what a laugh!
Call it some arrogant rich crybaby giving shareholders the shaft

The parties, the vacations, the corporate jets and presents
No wonder Barb wanted to "marry up" out of us peasants
But burger's still burger even dressed up like veal
And if you REALLY love yourself, it's still a crime to steal

Lady Black, she thought she had a winner
Imagine that, Barbara makin' Kraft Dinner
I'd rather never have than have to give it all back
And I'd rather be a nobody than Conrad Black

Being a funny song guy is not what you might expect
Among the rich and famous we don't get much respect
We're not really comedians, we're not writers who write stories
We're not really songwriters, got no Juno categories

That's why I've decided to do something for me
Got myself my own custom-made pedigree
Anyone can do it, I think everybody should
Just call me "Lord Todd of Proud Canadian Redneck Hoser Wood"

Repeat chorus